Captain Underpants

This morning, Harrison asked me to come into the bathroom to help him. I always get nervous when I hear him call me from the loo. He’s gotten into all sorts of trouble in the bathroom, so sometimes he needs help wiping; other times, he’s flooded the tub or unraveled all the toilet paper. Today, when I arrived, it was simply that his underpants had slipped off his ankles while he was doing his business. “This will be easy to learn, buddy,” I say. “You just slip your feet through these holes and then pull them up.” Delighted that this was a quick fix, I returned to sip my coffee and watch the Today Show.

Now, I have been trying to catch at least one full segment of the Today Show for three years now, and it hasn’t happened, so I don’t know why I thought this morning would be any different. As soon as my coffee was to my lips, I saw Harrison exiting the bathroom with his underpants AROUND HIS NECK. The best part is, he looked at me as if this might be a completely reasonable way to wear underpants. It is not, my friends. It is not.

How does one mistake his neck for his feet? I do not know, but I also do not know what was going on on the Today Show, or how my morning coffee tasted, because I had to go unravel him from that mess. On a completely unrelated note, here is a picture of him putting his shirt on yesterday: